Shattered Mask
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Naruko Uzumaki has an ability. She can break the mask that people hide behind and bring them back completely loyal to her. However instead of staying in Konoha she takes her eight brothers and sisters, all of whom possess a tailed beast off their world and onto others. Now she's working as a bar maid in Asgard...and she's caught the attention of a certain green-eyed prince.
1. Chapter 1

_**Symptoms of Patient X:** Inexplicable loyalty to a specific Leaf kunoichi, mental stability has taken a complete one-eighty, no longer seeks revenge against Leaf_

_**Diagnosis:** Shatter Mask_

_**Treatment:** none_

The doctor sighed. This was tenth shinobi taken off the battlefield who had encountered the Uzumaki brat and come out of it with a bizarre loyalty to her alone, completely abandoning their previous revenge towards the Leaf or to her personally. It was getting ridiculous.

"Next!"

He didn't know who trained Uzumaki to use that ability to shatter the mask all shinobi had to maintain their public faces when among civilians. All he knew was that somehow, someway that girl broke through all the barriers the shinobi built around themselves, and then managed to get them on her side without damaging them permanently. After which they were completely useless if the opponent was an Uzumaki.

It was baffling, and more important incredibly frustrating. Those who were diagnosed with the now infamous "Shattered Mask" effect were compromised in a way that made it nearly impossible for them to be active shinobi every again. Not without questioning their loyalty anyway.

But the worst part wasn't the effect Uzumaki had on other shinobi. It was their reaction to what happened to her after the war.

When she successfully stopped the Uchiha plot to bring everything crashing down, everyone thought she would finally become Hokage like she always wanted.

What she didn't count on was the revenge of the Third's advisers and several idiot nobles in the Fire Daimyo's court.

Naruko was a well known name and with the revelation she was the Fourth's only child, they decided that the moment the war was over, she would have to marry one of the other Leaf shinobi to produce more children of her bloodline if she wanted to become Hokage.

What they didn't count on was her opinion of the matter. Once the war was over, Naruko had become disillusioned with the office and the title. And when she heard of their attempts to turn her into little more than a puppet, she made plans of her own. Plans that would remove the Bijuu out of the hands of the Elemental Countries until things cooled off.

And so she left, taking only the things she would miss with her. As well as the others who carried her burden.

The outcry when her former teammate found the note explaining why she had left and that she would eventually return once she had found a reason to live again was so strong that they had to do a complete examination of_ all_ the shinobi who might have even remotely come into contact with the Uzumaki girl.

Which was the source of the doctor's current headache. The number of people who had come into contact with her at least once was so big that they were having to call in more shifts to handle it!

If he ever saw that girl, he would strangle her for making so much work for him!

* * *

Loki immediately knew someone was trying to top him as the undisputed prank king of Asgard when he woke up one morning and the entire palace was orange. Not just any orange either, but an eyeball searing orange that most sane people would not dare use for fear of having their eyes burnt out.

To top it all off, the entire outside of the palace was covered in the paint. Every. Single. Inch.

Normally Loki wouldn't be amused by such a feat. Though the fact they did it without any of the guards stopping them was impressive, not to mention doing it in a single night. That all changed the moment he saw his brother.

Thor apparently had yet to notice his sudden wardrobe change. Loki took one look at it and had to duck into another room just so Thor wouldn't realize something was up from his laughter.

Thor's hair was _pink_. Pink! His cape seemed to have been hit with more of that orange color, and his armor was now a green color.

If Sif hadn't taken pity on him (or maybe it was because she wanted to be rid of the clashing colors) he would still look ridiculous!

The pink hair, however, stayed for a month to Loki's delight.

* * *

"Hey Red! Another tankard of mead!" shouted the drunk.

'Red' as she was so _affectionately_ called by the drunken patrons, rolled her eyes. She juggled the tankards with ease, to the amusement of the other bar maids. Dancing around the drunken idiots who made up the customers was just irritating.

_'How the hell did I go from being one of the strongest Kunoichi since Tsunade to a bar maid in some crappy tavern that has to dance around these drunken idiots?'_ wondered Naruko.

Still, if she had to chose between a forced marriage to someone she couldn't stand and having to dodge these idiots, she would rather deal with the drunks.

Plus she got her need to prank people out on her first night. The look on that musclebound moron's face when he realized he had pink hair was hilarious.

Though it was the smaller man that had her attention. She could spot a fellow prankster from a mile away, and he had all the same earmarks of one.

Naruko nearly stumbled when that same idiot she had given pink hair to walked into the tavern with his groupies. The one with green eyes broke off from the main group, determined not to be near the one with a massive beard. She figured out why pretty quick...he had appalling table manners.

Even she wasn't that bad before Ayame-nee-chan drilled a few basic ones in her head.

Her annoyance with the group only grew as the night wore on. Aside from the one who had clearly grown up in a barbarian house, there was the flirty idiot who kept trying to grab her ass, the loudmouth with the hammer she had pranked before, and the condescending looks from lone female of the group.

Finally she was able to escape that section of the tavern.

"Hey, can someone else handle that group? I'm getting tired of having to dodge the idiot's hands while I'm delivering the mead," asked Naruko. She heard a snort from the green-eyed man who had opted to sit at the bar rather than with the group.

"Not a fan of my brother's friends?" he asked.

"_That's _your brother?! Man, do I feel sorry for you!" she said honestly.

He damn near choked on his wine. Apparently he wasn't used to anyone feeling sorry for him because blondie was his brother.

The barkeep roared with laughter.

"Red here is one of our most blunt bar wenches, yet everyone loves 'er!" he said, slapping her on the back. The green eyed man noted she didn't even flinch at what was clearly a powerful blow to the back.

"So you're not impressed with my brother or his friends?"

Naruko gave him a deadpan look as she stated what she thought of them on first glance.

"You have to deal with a man whore who can't keep his hands to himself, a hill barbarian who will never be allowed near a fancy dinner party, the loud mouth who relies solely on his hammer and the condescending she-witch. Excuse me if I happen to feel openly sorry for someone who clearly prefers the peace and quiet and has to deal with them daily."

The man openly grinned.

"I like you. I think I'll have to visit this tavern more often, if only to hear such a refreshingly blunt opinion on other people of importance," said the man grinning.

It was a trickster's grin, and one that would have sent shivers of terror down the spine of anyone else. Naruko gave her most winning fox smile in return.

It wasn't until later that she finally learned his name.

Loki.

* * *

Thor clapped his brother on the back.

"I hear from Fandral that you've been visiting a young woman of late!" he beamed. Frigga had been equally amused by this news.

"She's a refreshing change of pace," said Loki evenly.

Red, as she was affectionately called, was blunt and entirely unapologetic about what she said. She also wasn't impressed by Thor and his friends in the least.

She didn't care how famous or strong they were. They had an attitude problem, according to her.

And if Loki happened to tip extra well every time she made him snort in his wine from some of the well placed barbs she used, well, she said nothing.

"Does this young woman have a name?"

"They simply call her 'Red', most likely due to the fact her hair is the color of spilled blood. If she has a name, no one at the tavern knows it. And I have asked, but for some reason people just get even louder when she says it."

Loki suspected she had a hand in that, because she just seemed amused whenever he couldn't hear her.

"Perhaps I should meet with her discreetly. Where does she live?" asked Frigga openly amused.

"No idea. The only thing I've heard about her residence is that it's in a rather wooded area," admitted Loki.

Frigga was intrigued. Anyone who could evade Loki like that had to be interesting indeed.

* * *

Naruko was amused. Loki was trying to discreetly follow her to her house again. There was just one problem...Naruko didn't _have_ a house. She lived in the trees and got her food from the town.

Thanks to her tenure as an orphan of Konoha, she was well versed in how to live without having four walls, and frankly she preferred to look at the stars while she drifted off the sleep anyway.

Finally, after giving Loki the slip with a clone, she grinned after switching into her casual outfit.

"Looking for me?" she asked, dropping down from above behind him.

Seeing his startled look totally made dodging the knife worth it.

"How did you sneak up on me like that? No one's ever pulled that off!" said Loki startled. Then he noticed her casual outfit.

Naruko was in a black outfit that left the stomach exposed, and covered her chest (while at the same time emphasizing the impressive bust that gave Tsunade a run for her money). Her pants were loose, but built for running and were taped at the bottom so they didn't flap in the wind. Naruko had kept the traditional shinobi sandals, mostly because she was so used to wearing them. Her hair was kept in a loose pony tail, and for once Loki got an unobstructed view of her teal colored eyes.

This was the last thing he expected her to wear when he finally caught up to her, and when did she have time to change when he was following her the entire time?

"How... when did you have time to change?"

"Trade secret. So why did you follow me?"

"Because I can never hear your name at the tavern, and I'm tired of just calling you 'Red'," said Loki. That and it would get his mother off his case about not knowing a thing about her.

"Oh. I thought this was about the orange palace incident," said Naruko, putting her hands behind her head while she leaned against a tree.

"Orange... wait _you're_ the one who painted the entire palace orange over night?"

"And dyed the loudmouth's hair a bright pink," confirmed Naruko.

Loki's grin was predatory.

"You have got to do that one again. It was hilarious watching Thor try to explain to the dignitaries how his hair got turned pink without any explanation."

Naruko's grin was evil.

"Any other requests?"

"Can you take the Warrior Three down a peg?"

"What's in it for me, outside of seeing them getting their egos handed to them?" said Naruko immediately.

"The more amusing you make their lessons, the more gold I'll give you in return. If you can make me laugh outright I'll owe you one," said Loki immediately.

"Deal."

* * *

The first one to be hit by Naruko was Sif. Though to be fair Sif was asking for it with the comment she made about the fact Naruko's bust was clearly visible.

"What did you say about me?" hissed Naruko.

"I said I can't believe that someone like you has gained Loki's attentions. I don't know what he sees in a common bar wench," said Sif smoothly.

"Oh that does it. I've had it with that condescending attitude of yours. How about we see who would win in a contest of strength? This 'common bar wench' or the mighty Sif?" glared Naruko.

Loki grinned and immediately ordered more wine. Somehow he knew this was going to be hilarious.

"Challenge accepted. Name your contest," said Sif.

"Arm wrestling," said Naruko. No one had ever beaten her at that. No one.

The table was cleared and Naruko allowed Sif to use her dominate hand. Like most shinobi, Naruko had been trained to be ambidextrous.

Sif's smirk lasted all of thirty seconds...that is before she realized her opponent's arm wasn't even budging.

"What's the matter? Surely the 'great Sif' can beat a simple bar maid at such an easy game," asked Naruko smiling evilly.

Sif put more strength into her right arm. Nothing. Naruko openly yawned.

"Oi Red! Volstagg's about to get into that soup concoction you made in the kitchen!" shouted the barkeep.

Naruko's eye twitched rampantly. She slammed Sif's hand onto the table without hesitation before she went into the kitchen and literally kicked Volstagg out of it.

"Keep your hands off my ramen you damn hill barbarian!" she shouted.

Sif was staring at her like she had grown a second head. A _bar maid_ had beaten her in a contest of strength. A common _bar maid_.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki was still grinning about how Sif had been beaten by someone known only as Red. She couldn't believe a bar maid of all people had beaten her in a simple contest of strength, and as such was spending a massive amount of time in the training grounds proving she was better than the men.

That was nothing to the reaction of the girl beating Volstagg in an eating contest involving some soup and noodle concoction only she knew the recipe to. She called it 'rah-men', whatever that was, and watching Volstagg try to eat with those two wooden sticks had been hilarious. She ate with practiced dexterity and voracious appetite. It took four cooks to even keep up with her ability to eat the food stuff.

Loki had managed to convince Naruko (she had finally told him her name with amusement watching him try to say it without mangling it) to hit Thor next. He had been particularly annoying, dragging his more scholarly brother out of the palace library when he had been trying to figure out which world Naruko came from without telling Odin she had slipped through the old paths.

"So the girl you're so interested in wants to see how she fairs in a fight against one of us?" asked Thor. Loki had told Naruko to come to the edge of the palace grounds so he could lead her to the training grounds.

"She said she wanted to see what was so great about 'Thor and the Warrior Three' after she beat Sif in a simple contest of strength," said Loki smoothly.

Thor laughed. He hadn't been present that night, but he had heard tales of how Sif was beaten by 'Red' for weeks after. Her foul mood only told Thor that maybe the rumors weren't exaggerating about Red beating Sif.

Actually it was more along the lines of Naruko was bored and hadn't had a decent work out in months. Hauling food and drink around under some heavy gravity seals was good enough to keep her muscles from atrophying, but it did little for combat reflexes.

Besides, she had a major issue against lightning users, which Loki assured her his brother was.

Loki returned with a red haired woman in loose fitting clothes looking rather bored. Thor did his best not to stare at the very obvious bust that was hinted at but not shown overtly. Sif barely refrained from slapping him on principles.

"Last one standing was the agreement right?" asked Naruko to Loki.

"Beat him and you get a hundred," agreed Loki.

"This out to be fun. Been a while since I had a proper fight," said Naruko cracking her back. She looked at a confused Thor "Oi, Blondie! You gonna be staring at me all day or what?"

Thor blinked, before he grinned. He drew his hammer and got into the ring. A decent crowd of bored observers showed up to watch, believing Thor would beat the woman who had defeated Sif earlier that month.

Naruko had a crazed grin as she walked in.

"Begin!" said Loki, once they were ready. Naruko vanished without warning and Thor was abruptly sent flying.

There was dead silence as people suddenly realized that the girl had literally vanished from half a court yard away to behind Thor, her leg fully extended. Loki had a predatory grin that was only slightly obvious.

Naruko gave Thor a good head start to use his hammer, only for her to vanish again before it hit. She helpfully tapped Thor on the shoulder just in time for him to be thrown back from his hammer slamming into his stomach. Loki looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

Thor was actually becoming frustrated. This girl simply wouldn't stay still, and she was so fast!

"Strength is one thing blondie, but it doesn't mean jack if you can't hit the target," smirked Naruko. Then her grin turned the sort of predatory that only an apex killer could hope to match, "Besides... you're not as strong as me."

Thor growled openly and tried to slam Mjolnir into the woman, only for her to avoid it with contemptuous ease...and then grasp the broken ground beneath her hand. Without warning, a loud rumble came from below.

Everyone stared at the massive boulder she literally ripped from the earth and held in one hand. Everyone.

"Your skill is lacking and your technique is quite frankly appalling to watch. Now are you going to continue making a fool of yourself or do I get to play with an idiot some more?" she asked boredly.

"I do believe she has you outclassed brother," said Loki openly amused.

Not even Thor could rip a boulder that size from the ground from sheer strength alone. Not without using his hammer and having it in chunks at any rate.

Thor slumped.

"I admit defeat..." he said.

Naruko grinned and replaced the chunk of earth she had ripped out of the ground. She then walked over to Loki and held out a single hand. To the bafflement of Thor, his brother handed over a sizable sack of what was clearly gold.

"Worth every coin," said Loki.

"You actually _paid_ her to beat Thor?" said Sif incredulous.

"I paid her every time she beat one of you. Thor was extra," said Loki smugly. Seeing his brother and his idiot friends taken down a few pegs was totally worth paying Naruko.

"I can't believe she works as a simple bar maid," muttered Sif, staring at the girl.

* * *

_'If I had known what showing off would have brought, I would have made that jerk pay me double,'_ thought Naruko irritably.

After her casual beat down of Thor, the blond idiot insisted on joining his brother at the tavern. To make matters worse he wanted either a rematch or to have Naruko join his group.

She reacted to such offers the same way she reacted to B's rapping when it got out of hand. She slammed the tray on Thor's head, to Loki's open amusement. It didn't kill him, but it did leave one hell of a headache.

"For the last time you blond moron, I have no interest in joining your so called group of warriors. And you, hill barbarian! Try actually _eating _the ramen without gulping it down like some savage!" barked Naruko.

Volstagg slowed down a little in his eating. It wasn't great, but it was better than the way he had been devouring it without even tasting a thing.

"Why not?" asked Thor, rubbing where she had hit him.

"Do I really have to list why?" she asked. Seeing his kicked puppy look, she growled.

"Your techniques are sloppy, you rely too much on brute strength and frankly the only interesting one among your little group is Loki! Do you have any idea how _hard _it is to find anyone who can match me in a challenge of wits?!" said Naruko, venting.

Loki choked on his wine. She thought him more interesting than Thor? That was a first.

Thor however grinned widely.

"I knew you were interested in my brother!"

"Again, he's the only one who seems to have a brain in that group of yours," deadpanned Naruko, "Now if you don't mind I have to finish working. Unlike you two I actually _have_ a job that pays."

Loki snorted in amusement.

Naruko was deeply unimpressed with the warriors of Asgard and could care less about their status. The fact she beat Thor with such ease and still worked as a bar maid spoke volumes about her. She was someone who knew there were such things as rules and didn't give a damn about what people thought about her.

And Loki would be the first to admit she interested him a damn sight more than that idiot Sigyn or worse, Amara. Now if only his mother would quit pestering him to bring her to the palace so they could meet.

* * *

_I am so bored,_ said Naruko.

_Deal with it. At least you aren't being annoyed by a paranoid moron with an eye patch who has the subtlety of a brick when he wants something_, said Gaara irritably.

Fury was a damn pest, and shortly after Gaara had done his random good deed of the year the man had come trying to get his 'help'. Unfortunately for the spy master, Gaara was a shinobi and well versed in double talk. It was hard to beat someone who had lead an entire village full of master murderers, thieves and liars since they were fifteen. So no, he wasn't interested in joining this S.H.I.E.L.D. organization...though he also wasn't surprised B had opted to jump in headfirst if only to alleviate his complete boredom.

Unlike the others of their group, B had never developed what many would call patience.

Gaara did, however, take full advantage of his presence to slowly drive anyone paired with him in the field insane by requesting certain...ah...songs which he knew full well people hated to listen to.

The number of time Fury yelled at him to quit clogging the radio frequency with his rather poor attempts to rap numbered in the hundreds easily.

_So tell us more about this...Loki...character_, purred Yugito. Being resurrected and stuck with the Nibi aside, she was one of the three females of their group.

The third was a teen who had just recently been sealed before Naruko took them out of their world and onto new ones through the paths she found.

Naruko snorted.

_Loki is the only one of the group who even _remotely_ has something resembling a brain. Should have seen their faces when I pulled a Tsunade on their leader, a blond moron named Thor. Kami, even _I_ wasn't that arrogant when I got this strong!_

Her problem with Thor wasn't just because he was a loudmouth idiot. There was also the not-so-subtle hint of arrogance, like he was entitled to the throne purely because of who his father was.

It was like dealing with Uchiha Sasuke, with her old mask as the village idiot fully in place and all the uptight arrogance of the Hyuuga.

She was so glad to have ditched that mask in favor of trying to act like Anko. Her friends, not so much. Mostly because she was very good at duplicating Anko's bitchy personality.

Naruko missed the woman dearly.

_That bad, huh_?Gaara said amused.

_Worse._

_Look on the bright side little nine! Chances are you could snag yourself a rich husband there! I heard the gold really flows in Asgard!_

_B, shut the hell up. Loki is the second prince of Asgard, and he's been paying me to take his older brother Thor and his groupies down a few pegs. He even paid me triple what he offered after I showed Thor just how outclassed he was against me. Kicked his ass to the curb and then stomped it flat,_ said Naruko cackling. Oh, yes, she would do Anko-nee-sama proud with that laugh.

Anko, who had been her big sister in all but blood. She tore Kabuto into so many pieces for killing her.

_Details, girl, details!_ Tsuki squealed. She was the third female and had a third of the tails Naruko had to boot. She was, thankfully, not a fangirl but she had apparently taken one too many kunoichi lessons that wouldn't be out of place in Konoha.

Tsuki tried to convert her fellow females into the nightmare that was the romance genre, but they were smart enough not to fall for it. As Naruko had said, the day she read a trashy romance novel willingly is the day she would stab herself repeatedly with a blunt kunai.

Not gonna happen.

_Fine._

And so Naruko told them about Loki.

He was a prankster with a bit of a cruel streak, and in her words was very similar to herself. He was ignored, but not overtly as that would upset Thor and Frigga. He didn't fit in at all and preferred reading to fighting, though he was a decent one in a pinch. He was pretty much second fiddle to his brother, and he hated every minute of it.

The only thing missing was a desire for a higher station just for attention from others.

Gaara winced.

_I can see where this will end up and I only feel pity for this Loki character. He doesn't have a hope in hell of surviving this without something snapping,_ said Gaara flatly.

The minute Loki showed any signs of her 'idiot mask' as she called it, Naruko was going to use her Shatter Mask ability at full blast to break him before something else did. The only reason it wasn't a banned technique was because anyone who had mastered the bizarre ability to any real degree of success generally had to know how to _heal_ the mind and soul.

To date, Naruko was the _only_ person to be considered a master of it. As Gaara had once said when asked what he thought of Naruko after the doctors realized there was in fact a pattern of what happened to those who were mentally damaged in some way coming back completely sane, she was the Sun in human form, given life by Amaterasu herself.

She had to have some divine ability to heal broken souls as effectively as she did without fail, and that was before one considered her bizarre luck in games of chance. Or her crappy luck during missions.

The other seven chuckled at Gaara's flat declaration. Nearly all of them, at one point or another, had been hit with a full-on Shatter Mask effect. Naruko would never allow her fellow brothers and sisters suffer from the mistreatment of their villages without something to cling to in the dark hours of the night.

Gaara had simply been the first to be 'saved'.


	3. Chapter 3

"They're actually making that arrogant moron _king_," said Naruko incredulous.

Loki nodded in irritation. He had come straight to the forest where Naruko lived to vent about this once he heard.

"Let me guess, you're stuck going to the ceremony even though you have no interest in seeing him become king," continued Naruko.

"Do I look like I want to watch my brother's grandstanding?" said Loki annoyed.

"Well you have two viable options. One, you suck it up and deal with the idiot and the likely to be boring as hell ceremony, then escape at the first possible chance."

Loki grimace. That was definitely not something he wanted to do.

"And the other?"

"We switch places, and you show up after. It also allows me to speak to Frigga since I know she's been hounding you about me for months now."

Loki snorted in disbelief.

"It would never work, even if you did dye your hair black and somehow change your eyes green..." started Loki, before he stopped cold and stared in absolute shock.

Where Naruko had been sitting on her usual branch was a perfect doppelganger of himself. Down to the last strand of hair.

"You were saying? Transformation and misdirection is a specialty of mine, among others," said Naruko, copying his grin perfectly.

It was rather...disturbing...to be confronted with a perfect copy of yourself.

However Loki got over it quickly. If Naruko could take his place at that stupid ceremony then he would gladly take her up on the offer. The last thing he wanted was to watch his brother's grandstanding.

Now to get his mother to agree to it. She was the only one likely to notice the switch.

"Of course there is the small issue of someone needing to take my place at the tavern," said Naruko, switching back.

"Absolutely not. Being a female once was bad enough, but if Thor ever learned I took your place he would never let me live it down," shuddered Loki.

"Got a problem with bar maids?" asked Naruko challenging.

"It's not that, it's the fact that the _last_ time I turned myself female Thor thought it hilarious to try and pair me up with some lonely guards who were drunk," said Loki with a wince. Naruko flinched as well. No wonder Loki had been traumatized.

"For me, gender is entirely optional and it's so much fun to screw with people's heads when they attempt to figure out why a guy loses his bits without a second thought, only to gain the most impressive bust they have ever seen without a care," admitted Naruko.

She was one of those people who's gender identity was whatever amused her the most at the time. Generally that meant she remained female.

One of the few gifts granted to her from the fox was the ability to shift genders completely with fully functioning parts. It had baffled Tsunade when, upon seeing 'Naruto', she had discovered that the girl could actually get another female pregnant.

It was something that caused quite a bit of tension between her and the Third Hokage, because he insisted she remain a boy to prevent people from trying anything when she was a child.

It hadn't been until Anko had been tasked to teach her basic Sex Ed. (to both versions) and a few extra lessons from her courtesan neighbors that Naruko understood partially why Sarutobi had made her remain a male for the majority of her life, despite being born female.

When he died and Sasuke defected to Orochimaru, she said to hell with that order and returned to her original gender.

It had been a painful week of people finding out just how much she had snowed everyone. Thankfully they couldn't force her to marry the Uchiha since he was long gone, and Tsunade had enough Uzumaki blood in her to override any orders from the Council.

Though Sakura's reaction had been the worst. She absolutely refused to speak to Naruko when she found out that the entire time the 'boy' who had been asking her out was in fact another girl. Despite evidence to the contrary years later, Sakura would still persist in the belief Naruko was a lesbian.

"Still, the odds of us pulling this off..." said Loki.

"Care to see how long it takes your mother to figure out I'm not you then? This ceremony is only a few hours long, and I can last for days," said Naruko.

"Deal."

* * *

Frigga frowned at her son. There was something...off...about Loki today. It wasn't his appearance. It wasn't the way he moved.

If she had to put her finger on what was bothering her it was the eyes. There was an implied sense of mischief, but not the sort her son had taken to of late which implied cruel humiliation for whomever had annoyed him.

Finally she cornered Loki in a room an hour after dinner, and was surprised when he chuckled.

"Ha! I told him that switching places wasn't as difficult as he claimed," said 'Loki' who turned into a woman she had only seen once but never forgot.

The woman who had caught her son's attention. Red.

"Impressive you were able to disguise yourself as my son without anyone noticing. Even Thor was fooled," said Frigga evenly.

'Red' took an overly amused bow.

"Disguise and misdirection are my bread and butter, Lady Frigga. I'm afraid Loki isn't too enthusiastic about going to the coronation so when I offered to take his place he demanded we do a test run first," said Red before she asked "So what gave me away?"

"The eyes. Loki's have become more cruel in the past few centuries, but yours were of innocent mischief," said Frigga openly smiling.

"Ah. Knew I was forgetting something, but a prank of this caliber was too tempting to resist."

Loki managed to slip into the room without anyone noticing.

"Well?"

"She noticed, but only because I was so amused at the fact that no one figured out we had swapped places," said Red.

Frigga looked at her son.

"Is going to the coronation really that bad? You know Thor cares about you," said Frigga.

"Mother, while I can tolerate Thor and his more irritating habits, the last thing I want to deal with is watching him grandstand while being crowned king," said Loki flatly.

"Why do you care about the throne anyway? It's not like they care about scholars around here," asked Naruko.

Loki couldn't look her in the eye. Naruko's narrowed.

"Oh for the love of Inari don't tell me the only reason you are even interested in the throne is to get Odin's approval," she said pinching the bridge of her nose.

Loki stared at her, for she had hit the nail on the head rather easily.

"Dammit... looks like Gaara was right about this one again..." she muttered.

If the only reason Loki was interested in a throne that would suit him poorly was for attention from a rather distant father figure, then there was no way in hell Naruko was allowing this nonsense to continue. She would have to break Loki before something happened that would turn him evil.

Years before she perfected her the shattered mask, she had tried to reach Uchiha Sasuke. She would consider it her one and only failure, had she been unable to reform him years after he snapped. However to deny the Council and the idiots in the capital the Sharingan and to insure that the Juubi never returned, Sasuke took on a suicide mission and never came back.

However before he left, he gave everything to Naruko, saying she was the closest thing to family and the only one who had ever truly cared for him. Not because he was an 'Uchiha', but because he was Sasuke.

Naruko, in a bit of vindictiveness, sealed every last piece up and took it with her when she left...after leaving the Council directions to the trove of goodies.

Tsunade laughed long and hard when she realized the hat trick Naruko had pulled on them before vanishing. Not even a single coin had been left, just the buildings. And even those had been turned to rubble with a few well placed explosive tags that had gone off the moment her chakra quit running through it.

It was Naruko's biggest 'screw you' to the Council that made her life a living hell for years.

"That does it. The coronation is in a week right?" asked Naruko.

Frigga and Loki nodded slowly, unsure why she wanted to know.

"You and I are going on a little trip. I guarantee when we come back you'll be hard pressed to believe the difference in Loki's personality," said Naruko firmly. She was going to nip his bad behavior in the bud now before he had to deal with a major stress marker like this coronation.

Frigga hid a smile. It was clear this girl did care for her son, though she was curious as to what the girl had in mind for Loki.

* * *

"Why exactly are we here Naruko?" asked Loki tiredly. They were in the former home of the Dark Elves, and frankly he was wondering why she had dragged him there.

Actually, scratch that, he was more curious how the hell she knew the pathways well enough to take him into the only one on Asgard that lead straight to here. He thought he was the only one who cared about the older paths enough to map them.

"So I don't have to worry about Thor trying to take my head off or being arrested when you finally snap," said Naruko flatly.

Loki looked at her oddly.

"When you say snap..."

"I mean your snide trickster personality is going to break like a mirror when a rock is thrown at it. And since you know how to use magic there's a high chance your control will be shot to hell and cause a massive shockwave. And if we did it in Asgard it would bring the guard or worse, Thor and his idiots down on my head."

Loki stared at her.

"Exactly what is it that you plan to do that would cause that?" he asked, his voice full of disbelief.

He sincerely doubted anything she did would cause a shockwave of _his_ magic to go off.

"Would you like to make a bet Loki?"

"What sort of bet?"

"The kind that gets you out of Asgard and away from your brother for a while."

"Very well."

"If I can get you to drop some of your dislike of Thor, we go on vacation."

"And if you can't?"

"Then I do another palace-wide prank of your choice," said Naruko immediately.

Loki's grin was evil. He had seen her work, and he would love to see it again. Especially if he could convince her to dye Thor's hair that orange color she loved so much.

Seeing as how Naruko was clearly going to do something, Loki found a rock and got comfortable. Or at least tried to.

"Actually it might be easier to do this in a spar. It gets aggression out and gets the blood pumping at the same time," said Naruko.

"Hell and no. I've see you spar," deadpanned Loki.

"That wasn't a spar. That was a beat down with a hefty dose of grandstanding. I want to see how _you_ fight without holding anything back. All the tricks, all the sneak attacks, everything. This isn't going to be a battle of brute force. I want _technique_," said Naruko.

"Basically you want me to fight as myself and not as an Asgardian," said Loki.

Naruko had made it very, very clear how she felt about Asgardian warriors.

All brawn and little brains was the way she had phrased it. Loki couldn't help but agree, and the others usually mocked him for fighting 'like a woman' as they said it.

Even Sif fought like a man.

Loki's grin was rather disturbing...if you were anyone but Naruko.

It would be nice to go all out with his magic rather than trying to match Thor blow for blow.

So Loki summoned his staff and started them off by trying to blast Naruko. He knew it wouldn't work, but it would get things started.

She vanished, but instead of attacking him with her fists or a kick, she had an evil grin on her face as she called out "Shadow Clones Jutsu!"

Ten clones appeared, and Loki paid them little mind. He had used illusionary clones before.

That dismissal turned to shock when he realized that not only were the clones entirely solid, but they were completely autonomous from Naruko and could use her unique 'magic'.

He did pale when he saw one explode without warning.

"Exactly how many of those can you make?"

"Enough to make even Thor be afraid of explosions," she said cheerfully. Then her face gained an odd expression, "So why exactly do you want to be king of a bunch of testosterone laden morons who couldn't get subtlety if you smack them in the face with it?"

That question actually stumped Loki for a moment, because why was she asking about this _now_ during a fight?

"I mean I can get why Thor would want to be king, but why would you want to be king of Asgard when there are so many more interesting places to be the ruler of? And what about all the paperwork you'll eventually have to do?"

"Because it's my birthright!" said Loki, dodging a blue ball of what appeared to be pure magic condensed. He decided to avoid it altogether when he saw the damage it did.

"Again, why king of the Asgard? They clearly don't respect your brand of fighting, they just barely tolerate you in their group, and they look down on what you like to do. So why would you want to lead them? I mean outside of Thor, they don't even pay any real attention to you at all!"

Loki winced. He had noticed that years ago, which was why he started doing more and more cruel pranks.

"So what's in it for you if you became King?"

"They would have to notice me if I was their king," said Loki.

"And what about Odin?" asked Naruko. Now she was getting to the crux of her ability. Forcing people to realize the truth without their mask to hide behind.

Loki twitched. He didn't like where this was going. At all.

Naruko didn't smirk or show any sign of emotion.

She knew how to break people in a way that they would thank her for later. Hell, she had a listing in the BINGO books back home _because_ she could break people without any real physical damage to show for it.

"Let's be real Loki. The only reason you want to be king is so that Odin will acknowledge you the same way he does Thor. You want him to be proud of you for yourself," said Naruko.

"Shut up!" snarled Loki.

"Face it! You want to be king so Odin will notice you as his son! To see him as proud of you as he is of Thor!" shouted Naruko.

"I said... SHUT UP!" shouted Loki.

Without warning, Loki felt his magic slip. There was a shockwave that broke loose and sent rocks and dust from above.

Naruko pinned Loki to the ground. He was breathing heavily, partly from using his magic for longer than normal, but mostly because she was forcing him to see the truth.

Loki didn't want to be king. He just wanted Odin's approval and attention.

"You need to wake up and see the truth Loki."

Loki almost felt like crying. He had never wanted to admit that all he ever wanted was for Odin to be as proud of him as he was of Thor or Baldur.

That was when Naruko used the full brunt of her shatter mask ability.

"You need to wake up and realize that Odin is the last person you need to impress. The only one you need to care about is _you_. Are you happy with who you are? Are you satisfied with how your life is turning out?" said Naruko.

She slowly let Loki up. He took his time in sitting up.

"Why do you even care?" asked Loki.

"I see you. I hear you. And I acknowledge the person you really are, not the one people expect you to be," said Naruko simply.

Loki could tell she meant every word. And for some reason, he just started laughing. It wasn't even funny, but he was laughing.

Naruko took it in stride though. She had seen some bizarre psychological responses after she broke people. Laughter was one of the top three.

She felt something brush at the back of her head. It felt similar enough to the Yamanaka technique that she told Kurama to allow Loki to read her memories. Just enough to show him she wasn't lying about taking him as he was and not how people wanted him to be.

Seeing that she understood _exactly_ why he had been so determined to be king and impress his father, Loki realized Naruko wasn't like anyone he was likely to meet ever again. He only barely realized that she was holding him and that he was crying...yet he didn't care.


	4. Chapter 4

Frigga raised an eyebrow at the much calmer Loki who returned just in time for the coronation ceremony which was tomorrow.

"Well?" she asked.

"It's not perfect, but he'll get better so long as he doesn't have any more major hits to his personality. So if there are any life-changing facts, it would be best to keep quiet about them for now," advised Naruko.

"What exactly did you do to him?" asked Frigga.

"I made him face the truth he didn't want to admit to himself. And I showed him I wasn't going to let him face it alone," said Naruko, before she added "It's called the Shattered Mask effect, and it's rather well documented back where I come from."

"Shattered Mask is the perfect description for it," said Loki.

"Still want me to take your place at the stupid coronation?" asked Naruko.

"Considering my mental state there's no way in Helheim I am dealing with Thor and his idiocy. And there is no chance I am going to that stupid ceremony where I have to watch Thor being a bigger idiot than usual," said Loki flatly.

"Loki," said Frigga softly.

"Considering Thor is the second most likely to pick up that something happened to his brother, it's probably a better idea if he avoids it," agreed Naruko.

Thor was more perceptive than Loki liked sometimes, and if he saw how much Naruko had broken Loki's mask, he would definitely react badly. And that was the last thing they needed this close to him being crowned the king.

"On an unrelated note, if anything happens to Thor I would be more likely to hand over the thrown to Baldur," said Loki.

Frigga looked at Naruko sharply.

"I forced Loki to confront the real reason he wanted the throne, and now that he realizes the truth he wants nothing to do with it. Which is why I'm planning to drag his sorry ass to Midgard for a vacation so he can properly recover without people trying to bother him."

"We will be having a very long and detailed discussion later, and I will want a proper explanation," said Frigga.

"Fine by me, but don't bring Thor."

* * *

Loki would have left Naruko to deal with his mother all alone, but then he ran into Thor. His brother wanted to take him on a pre-celebratory round of drinking...and faced with dealing with a drunk Thor or his concerned mother, Loki chose to accompany Naruko instead.

He very nearly walked out the door when he saw Odin present as well.

Naruko dragged him to the couch next to her.

"If you think for one second I am facing your parents alone, you have another thing coming!" she hissed.

For a few awkward moments, no one said anything. Finally Frigga asked for the girl's name, since the only thing they knew about her was that she had red hair, was insanely strong, and worked as a bar maid.

The girl smiled.

"My name is Naruko Uzumaki-Namikaze, current head of the Uzumaki clan," she said.

Tsunade had all but handed over the mantel of clan head to Naruko in an effort to make her more palatable to the older shinobi.

Not that it had helped when they tried to force her into a marriage she didn't want.

"Clan head?" said Odin sharply.

"Where I come from, families tend to live in large clans in houses very close to each other. My clan had a village unto itself, at least before it was wiped out because we were so feared. My mother happened to be in an allied village at the time," explained Naruko.

While Asgard might accept a world where the warriors lived in tightly-knit villages, she didn't want to have to explain she was a trained assassin who specialized in infiltration and conversion of enemy units, with a heavy emphasis on energy-intensive attacks and solid clones.

Loki knew, he had seen that much in her memories, but there were a few things even he had yet to see that she would very much like to keep close to her chest for the moment.

Fortunately she knew how to play this, considering she was one of the best infiltrators to have be trained by Anko herself.

"Care to explain why you refuse to take Thor up on his offer?" asked Odin. From what he saw she would fit right in.

Naruko made a disgusted face.

"Fandral can't keep his hands to himself, Sif is condescending towards women who can't fight, Volstagg is little more than a hill barbarian who has never heard of table manners, and Thor is an arrogant loud mouth idiot who's first solution to everything is to use his hammer on it until it stops moving," said Naruko flatly.

"They are our realms greatest warriors," said Odin.

"Then you have some seriously low standards when it comes to warriors. Back home they wouldn't last five minutes with someone who knew what they were doing and wasn't injured," said Naruko.

"I've fought her full out and she still beat me," said Loki.

"Why were you fighting?" asked Frigga confused.

"Partially to see exactly how magic works, but mostly so I could use the full force of a technique I've developed to force people into facing cold hard reality," said Naruko shrugging, before she added "And by my standards it was more of a light spar."

Loki stared at her incredulous. _That_ was a light spar by her standards? He'd hate to see what it would be like when she went all out...on him that is.

"I understand that you are going to switch with Loki during the ceremony?" asked Odin.

"Loki is in no shape to deal with Thor, and frankly he needs a break from being around Asgardians all day."

"What is wrong with Asgard?" asked Odin sharply.

"You mean aside from the fact that it is full of warriors and fighters and Loki is a scholarly mage?" Naruko shot back, "People already think of him as a woman in a man's body because he prefers to think things through instead of charging in like a boar."

"What?" said Frigga sharply.

"You have no idea what people really think of you outside the palace do you? They might show respect, but in reality they are sick and tired of Thor's arrogance. The only reason they follow him is because he happens to be the royal Asgardian poster boy and they know full well that to speak against him might be construed as treason. And Loki? He's tolerated more but he's considered quite cruel by the maids," said Naruko flatly.

It was like she had slapped them in the face with a fish.

Loki suddenly snorted in amusement.

"There's a reason I found her fascinating. Her bluntness and the fact she's entirely unimpressed with Asgard was refreshing...not to mention she had no issue with speaking her mind," said Loki.

"What exactly did you do to Loki?" asked Odin. His son was far too calm and quiet, even for him.

"I beat him up and slapped him in the face with a truth he didn't want to admit," said Naruko simply.

She basically wore his ass out in a fight, getting his aggression out all at once while forcing him to confront several things he was reluctant to admit even to himself. And once the truth sank in to Loki's head that yes, she did understand why he was so desperate to be king and didn't think less of him for it, he broke.

As Naruko had shown him, she was both the master of breaking through to people and the one who usually ended up fixing them in a way that made them thank her for it. Loki had held the mirror Naruko had made to demonstrate her ability and it had shattered into a thousand pieces without him doing a thing.

Now she had to work on repairing the damage one piece at a time.

* * *

Naruko just barely refrained from rolling her eyes seeing Thor grandstand like an idiot. Loki was currently in his room packing for their vacation away from Asgard, though he would congratulate his brother later if only to keep Thor from trying to find him.

Their destination? Midgard, so Naruko could introduce Loki to others who had been 'hit' with her Shattered Mask. Specifically Gaara. He had been complaining of a certain idiot who insisted on using some weird armor to fight his enemies and the annoyance that was Nick Fury.

At least the Tony's assistant Pepper was grateful for his help. Gaara had hit himself in the head repeatedly for not thinking of shadow clones to do paperwork when Naruko just happened to mention it to him.

As such he was pretty much considered Pepper's "assist" slash bodyguard. Mostly because he was even more efficient at keeping idiots like Tony under control than Pepper was. She was just happy for the help. Even if it did come from someone who looked like a humanoid raccoon. (It was the eyes, she would swear.)

As Thor paraded (and she meant paraded) up to where the throne was, Odin began the speech that his father Bor had given him when he took over the throne.

About halfway through, he suddenly stopped without warning. Something was very wrong.

The palace alarms went off, and from the sound alone it was clear something had broken into the palace vault where only the most precious (or dangerous) treasures were stored.

By the time they got there, the Destroyer had taken care of the problem. There was one small problem though.

Thor was _pissed_.

At least Loki wouldn't be considered a suspect, since he had no interest in taking the throne any time soon...not to mention he had no reason to send Jotuns into the vault when he was more interested in a break from Asgard.

It was highly counterproductive to release Frost Giants in the vault if he wanted to make a quiet escape.

* * *

"Wait, what do you mean someone brought Frost Giants to Asgard?" said Loki. He had been sorting through his books when the alarms went off.

"I mean some dumbass literally gave them the path to the vault and they tried to steal some box," said Naruko rolling her eyes.

"The Casket of Ancient Winters," said Loki. It was the only thing that the Jotuns would be willing to risk their lives for that he knew of.

"Is that what the box is called? A little heavy but not very interesting. The fact it cut me like a blood-based seal was a little weird though."

"You picked it up and didn't set off the alarms?" said Loki looking at her.

Naruko rolled her eyes.

"It took me five minutes to figure out the alarms and release mechanism for the Destroyer. And a day to memorize the guard's schedule. Asgard is seriously lax when it comes to security. Being at the top is no excuse for slacking in training and diligence!" chastised Naruko, before she added "Besides, that thing was intent based anyway. I knocked it off with something appropriately heavy and only looked at it before putting it back."

Loki snorted.

"On the plus side, my affinity for ice chakra has apparently gone up, which is weird considering I have only a minor affinity towards water style and a decent amount of fire."

Naruko had three elemental affinities. Wind was her primary, with a mediocre amount of fire and a minor in water. She had only glanced at water to see if she could duplicate Haku's old jutsu. Unfortunately her ability to mix them was slipshod at best, because she kept overdoing it with her wind chakra.

So the fact she had been able to freeze small amounts of beer before Volstagg could drink it was rather surprising.

She could only assume the box that she had somehow cut herself on had something to do with it, but no idea what.

"It's far more likely your unusual energy somehow morphed into Ice magic. The Casket of Ancient Winters has been noted to be slightly sentient and it might have taken a liking to you since you're not Asgardian and really don't care about using it," said Loki.

Naruko blinked, before she muttered "That would explain _so_ much... like why I saw someone who shouldn't be there..."

"Hmm?"

"It's nothing. Anyway you ready to go?"

"Absolutely," said Loki.

Normally they would slip away, but Odin was firm about the conditions of them leaving.

If they wanted to go on vacation on Midgard, they had to deal with the Bifrost. The fact Naruko knew the old paths almost as well as Loki did was something Odin had yet to be informed of.

They also had to deal with Thor seeing them off, otherwise he would be a nuisance.

"I do not see why you are leaving brother," said Thor. He was clearly confused.

"I need a break. And that means I have to leave the worlds where people recognize me on sight, or know of me."

And in what he hoped was out of earshot, Loki quietly added "Besides, this will give me a chance to court her properly without her job getting in the way."

Thor suddenly grinned. Now he got it. Loki was definitely interested in the woman who had beaten him, and wanted a chance to know her better on her own terms. It was about time.

Still...

"Why Midgard?"

"Two of my brothers and one of my sisters is currently living there. When we took the old paths out of our homeworld, we split up at random. So far the others are enjoying their new place," said Naruko.

B, Gaara and Tsuki were all on Midgard, or what the locals called Earth.

B had chosen Earth because it looked the most interesting and the Gaara had gone to keep him from going overboard. At the moment however that seemed to be S.H.I.E.L.D.'s headache. Tsuki only went because most of the planet was made of water, which was where her demon reigned supreme.

It was also the reason why Gaara had been in Afghanistan roughly the same time one Tony Stark had broken free from captivity and had been able to save him from dehydration thanks to the storage seals Naruko had made for Gaara when he asked.

Naruko didn't tell Loki she had heard that bit about courting her. No need to ruin that surprise just yet.

Before they walked through, Loki did pause by Heimdall to warn him that if Thor was stupid enough to leave Asgard to call the guards immediately.

He knew his brother. Thor would likely go directly to Jotunheim just to demand answers and start an all out war.

Heimdall looked amused but took it under advisement.


	5. Chapter 5

"HI~! Someone ordered a village idiot and we came to deliver!" said Naruko with an evil grin.

"Sorry, this isn't Konoha's entire Council. Try again later," deadpanned Gaara, before he smiled. He hugged Naruko tightly.

"It's good to see you again brother," said Naruko.

"Agreed, little sister. Now, judging by the look of your friend I can only assume he is yet another victim of your most devastating ability?" asked Gaara.

The man behind her fit the general description she gave of Prince Loki.

"If by that you mean she beat the hell out of me and then shoved truth down my throat..." said Loki.

"Gaara no Sabaku. I was the first confirmed case of what is collectively called the Shattered Mask," said Gaara holding his hand out. Loki shook it firmly.

"Loki of Asgard."

"Now just to warn you, Tony is pretty much like you only he's as irritating as this Thor character. Thankfully he seems to have gotten his head out of his ass and is dating his assistant, so he's calmed down a little. He's rather eager to see what magic and seals can do, so he might drag you down to his lab."

"Turn that 'might' into a 'definitely'," said a voice behind him. Gaara didn't bother to turn, "Damn red, you never said your little sister was such a hottie!"

Gaara counted to ten before he heard a satisfying slap to the back of Tony's head.

Pepper was not one to suffer her boyfriend's idiocy lightly.

Naruko snickered evilly.

"So, I hear you need more estrogen to keep these boys in check. Want some help?" she offered.

Pepper smirked.

"And him?" she asked amused.

"He can switch genders, but his brother kinda ruined it. I call for a girl's night out to introduce him to the joys of chocolate and ice cream with liquor added to it."

"You're older than 21 right?" countered Pepper.

"I'm a year younger than he is," said Naruko, hooking a thumb at Gaara.

"A girl's night out sounds appealing then."

She hadn't had one of those in so long...mostly because Tony had a bad habit of falling for anyone who could have been her friend and then sleeping with them. It always ended in tears.

"What exactly is chocolate?" asked Loki.

Pepper and Naruko shared a look.

"Definitely a girl's night out," said Pepper.

"That reminds me... JARVIS, remember that restaurant I told you to put on speed dial in case a certain teal-eyed red head showed up?" asked Gaara.

"_Shall I place the order then?"_

"What the hell?"

"Naruko, did you have lunch before you left?"

"Only a small one, why?" asked Naruko.

"Place the order," said Gaara. He couldn't wait to see her reaction.

About thirty minutes later, something odd happened.

Naruko abruptly gained a pair of fox ears and a tail. To the amusement of Gaara (and the bafflement of everyone else) she started sniffing the air like a dog would.

"Are those real?" asked Tony, morbidly curious (and wondering if he could convince Pepper to wear cat ears).

"One hundred percent real," said Gaara smirking. He was quick to get to the door before it rang...and to his open enjoyment where the girl had been there was now a large red fox with nine tails waiting impatiently for him to set the food down.

Once he did after giving the delivery man a large tip, the reaction was instant.

Naruko was on it like Kakashi with a new _Icha Icha_ book. There was no escape and no survivors.

Tony and Loki both stared at the girl as she devoured not ten, but _forty_ large bowls of ramen in one single sitting. Once she finished the last one she set it on the top of the fourth ten-bowl stack and let loose a loud satisfied belch. It shook the windows.

"I always knew there was a reason you were my favorite brother," she said grinning.

"I don't believe it," said Tony.

"Agreed," said Loki. Though he had to admit, he had at least had some experience with it after that eating contest she had with Volstagg.

"Actually her current record is sixty-four, but since she already had lunch..." said Gaara.

"How the hell did she eat forty? It's impossible!" said Tony.

"I metabolize like you wouldn't believe and I've always had room for more ramen," said Naruko smirking.

"Oh it gets even better. I've found a group of people with unique gifts that could...benefit...from your Shatter Mask ability," said Gaara.

Naruko enjoyed helping people. It was part of who she was and she thrived in the attention they gave back. So the opportunity to help an entire society of people who were being abused and feared because of something they had no control over would be a great way to keep her busy for a while and keep her far, far from Tony.

"How bad are we talking about?" she asked seriously.

"Almost as bad as Konoha before you pulled their collective head out of their asses with a liberal dose of how people reacted around Ichi before you beat him," said Gaara flatly.

Naruko winced.

"And where are they exactly?"

"New York. Loud, noisy, but a lot of fun for someone as active as you. And before you ask, yes I have made a list of all the restaurants that make home-made ramen," said Gaara. There were only three.

"Hmm, New York..." mused Tony. He always wanted to build a tower there.

"What's the culture like?" asked Loki.

"They have plays, musicals...quite a bit actually. You won't be bored and from what Naru-chan has told me you might actually enjoy it. They have massive libraries. Though you might have to update your wardrobe..." said Gaara, grimacing at the memory of Pepper dragging him on a shopping trip to get some updated clothes.

While he looked more comfortable, clothes shopping was something very few sane men enjoyed.

"First things first, should I hit this S.H.I.E.L.D. place and then drive them insane before showing them how to keep B in line or should we just head straight to New York once we've caught up?" asked Naruko seriously.

"Fury is a damn pest. Let them sweat before you show up," said Gaara flatly.

Fury had tried no less than fifteen times to get Gaara to even consider joining his group, if only because B had let it slip that the stoic man knew how to fight like him and could possibly keep him in line.

Anyone that could make B shut up with his rapping would be considered a godsend at this point.

"Coincidentally... orange palace, really?"

Loki choked back a laugh.

"Orange paint everywhere on the outside of the palace and she dyed Thor's hair a fluorescent pink at the same time. He had to walk around with pink hair for a month before he finally just cut it off and had it regrown," cackled Loki. He was feeling like his old self already.

"So if you're Loki, does that make you _the_ Loki from the myths?" asked Tony. He had looked it up.

"I was here when the vikings were still around, yes."

"In that case, is that story about you tricking Thor into a wedding dress just to get his hammer back from the frost giants real too?"

"Say what now?"

Tony handed him a book on Norse mythology. Loki spent the next hour reading before he declared more than half of it was complete and utter bullshit.

"Hel is not my daughter, I don't have any children, and there is no way in Helhiem I was ever married to...ugh...Sigyn," said Loki shuddering, then he smirked "This tale about the wedding dress is likely a more humorous spin on my payback on Thor when he mocked me for trying female form. Mother laughed for weeks because Thor was forced to stay in that dress."

"Got any pictures?"

"I can do you one better. I can show you the memories," said Loki, conjuring a ball and then showing his memories of that prank. Tony recorded it in the event Thor ever showed up.

"We're going to be great friends, I can just tell. Got any others we can use against him if he ever comes around?" asked Tony.

"Well this is interesting. Never seen anyone actually help me fix someone still under the effects of a Shatter Mask," said Naruko, sipping a beer.

"I imagine it will be great fun for you to watch," said Gaara.

Naruko only did the initial breaking. She never had a chance to watch the full repair done through interactions with others who quickly got used to the 'shattered' victim. She usually just saw the results of _after_ the people found others to bond with.

Though for Pepper the combined prankster forces of a bored Naruko, a recovering Loki and a very happy Tony gave her a bad feeling.

* * *

In an undisclosed S.H.I.E.L.D. installation, Nick Fury shivered. It felt like someone had just stepped on his grave and then started to dance something obscene on it after.

_Oi, B, guess who's on Earth finally? And I come bearing royalty!_ Naruko announced happily at the convening of the Nine, as they called it.

It was basically a mental place for the Jinchuriki to chat and keep in touch.

_Little nine is so fine! So where is he? And who's the ice babe?_

Naruko turned to the blue-eyed blond. She had a shade paler than her father, but she could have passed for her paternal aunt with those eyes.

_I am the spirit of the Casket. Thank you for allowing me passage into your mind. It was really quite boring in there,_ she said politely.

_Well you're welcome to jump into a clone anytime to bug people. Not like I care unless you start killing indiscriminately. Now B, about this Fury guy..._

You had to feel sorry for him. Fury, I mean. Naruko could be viscous when she was bored and dealing with a so-called spy master.

* * *

Fury's bad feeling persisted...until he learned Gaara's "sister" had shown up in town. She had gone through enough ramen to last an entire village for two months. And made one man who had been about to go under very happy.

So in an attempt to get some desperately needed help with a certain idiot, he went to her.

She was at an open air restaurant, and seemed perfectly content eating her ice cream sundae.

"So you're Nicholas Fury. Gaara wasn't pleased with the fact you've been annoying him," she said without turning around...before she added "And really, that level of fire power won't do more than irritate the hell out of me."

"I'm not here to fight."

"No, you're here because I'm the only person who _might_ tell you how to deal with a certain idiot who thinks he can rap," said Naruko openly amused.

Now she had Fury's attention.

"I'm listening."

"First off, tell that idiot with the arrows on the roof that he might as well come down. He can't come close to hitting me with them."

Fury's assessment of her threat level shot up when she said that. Clint was two roofs away, and his best was four.

"Agent Barton, come on down," said Fury.

"What is this, the _Price is Right_?" she snarked.

Fury heard a snort on the other end of the line. Chances were Clint had read her lips when she said that.

Clint took position behind Fury, but still close enough to back him up.

"So why did you come here?"

"I was on Asgard. Then an idiot was almost declared king, and now we're on vacation on Earth for a bit."

"We?"

"She means me. Loki, of Asgard," said a familiar voice behind her.

"Any relation to the blond who just rammed through several of my agents in New Mexico?" asked Fury.

He slid a picture of the man. Loki swore rather impressively.

"What in Helhiem did that fool do _now_?!"

"You know him?"

"Thor. Gigantic pain in the ass and total idiot. Loki, can you make a call from here?"

"Give me an ice mirror so I can contact them without looking like an idiot," said Loki. Naruko took her water and turned it into an icy mirror. A few moments later Loki left to make a very long distance call. He came back looking rather irritated.

"The idiot was stupid enough to charge into Jotunhiem to demand answers, and then had the arrogance to attack Laufey in his own territory. Odin's sent him here to relearn some damn humility, and frankly it's long past due. Baldur is on the throne until one of us returns," said Loki looking irritated. After Naruko beat some sense into him, he realized that taking the throne so soon after Thor's banishment would be a monumental mistake.

People would immediately assume Loki had something to do with the Jotuns in Asgard, and possibly Thor's banishment. Everyone knew Loki hadn't been getting along with his brother for years now, especially when word spread he had hired Naruko to beat his brother in a spar. So long as he stayed far, far from Asgard and made no move towards the throne, he was considered innocent.

Besides, Naruko was right. Being away from the brutish idiots in Asgard was doing wonders for his stress levels.

"So you do know him?" said Fury.

Loki rolled his eyes.

"That blond haired idiot is my brother, unfortunately. Apparently he did something monumentally stupid and now I'm stuck cleaning after him, once again," said Loki.

Naruko had a sudden, evil idea.

"Better yet, why don't we all visit him and you can bring B with you. I'm sure it will be entertaining for all involved," said Naruko evilly.

"Sir?" said Clint.

"Let's get this mess cleared up," said Fury. He had a headache and he just knew it wasn't going away anytime soon.


	6. Chapter 6

"You are a damn idiot," said Loki, after he slapped his brother on the head.

"Brother!"

"You were stupid enough to charge into _Laufey's _realm and demand answers...and to make matters worse you arrogantly attacked him? Is this how Asgard's future king is supposed to act?!" said Loki.

Thor was actually moping. It was bad enough he couldn't pick up his hammer at the moment, but the way Loki was speaking sounded far too much like Frigga.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" came a disbelieving shout.

"What's that about?"

"I don't know, and frankly I am not going to ask."

* * *

Fury was quite literally banging his head against the wall. It was quite entertaining to watch. Some of the younger agents with phones were actually recording it for later.

Naruko was grinning with her hands behind her head while B moped.

Coulson looked equally irritated.

"You mean to tell me that this whole time all we had to do to shut him the hell up was slap him?" said Fury.

"Oh no, you have to do some actual damage. Shooting him in the ass might work," said Naruko, trying not to laugh. She wasn't doing a good job.

"I can't believe it was that simple," said Coulson. He was the one stuck with this idiot most of the time.

"To be fair, his older brother used to electrocute him when he got too annoying. He's used to corporal punishment, and he heals fast enough that it won't bother him too much."

"Oh good. Permission sir?" asked Coulson, he had a twitch in his eye.

"Granted."

"OW!"

Phil Coulson looked particular satisfied as he emptied an entire clip into B's ass. Naruko just started laughing her head off.

"Any chance he'll get lead poisoning?" asked Phil.

"Doubtful, but unless you want him to get picked up by metal detectors..." said Naruko grinning.

"You suck little nine."

"You deserve it. Either learn how to rhyme better or quit that poor excuse you call music," said Naruko flatly.

"You do realize that now they know I heal fast they'll be shooting me on sight, right?"

"Only if you piss off Fury too much. I don't think they want to explain why they keep wasting valuable ammunition," deadpanned Naruko.

"Bully," said B.

"Better me than Yugito. She would have clawed the crap out of you, remember?"

B winced.

"So little nine, where's your boyfriend," said B smirking.

"He's not my boyfriend just yet, you idiot. And Loki is currently with his brother, the blond idiot who charged in like a wild boar to get his hammer back," said Naruko rolling her eyes.

"Wait, that muscle head is his brother? Guy was about as bright as well.. Gai," said B.

Naruko snorted.

"Actually I would put him about the same level as Sakura in her fan girl stage," said Naruko dryly.

B winced.

"That bad?"

"Gai is a brilliant taijutsu specialist. Thor is a moron who thinks that smashing things with his hammer and acting like he owns the world is a smart way to get things done. And the worst part was that he was nearly crowned King of the Asgardians."

Loki came in looking very harassed indeed, with his idiot brother following him.

"Well?" asked Naruko.

Thor had the decency to look ashamed.

"Sir? There's a man outside who claims to know Thor," said Coulson.

Naruko listened in to this Erik Selvig and snorted in amusement.

"It's a good spin, but I'm afraid we beat you to the punch," said Naruko stepping out of the shadows. Selvig stared at her in surprise.

"Thor, do us a favor and try to think for once in your life?" said Loki with a sigh.

"And as for you, Fury, I suggest you give Ms. Foster her research back or I will take it upon myself to steal it from under you," said Naruko.

B winced.

"Naruko is a bit...vindictive. If you don't do as she asks you'll be pranked within an inch of your life," said B.

* * *

Loki ended up with the only woman who could claim to have beaten his brother not once, but twice. Loki was grinning widely, because there was no way in _hell_ his brother was living down the fact he had been run over twice by a woman...one who then proceeded to stun him with his own element.

Erik seemed to be in shock when he realized who had followed them back to their makeshift lab. It was bad enough meeting Thor... Loki actually understood what they were doing and kept dropping hints on how to improve upon their knowledge without outright telling them.

Darcy, however, seemed to be enamored with Naruko, who kept cheerfully switching between a very hot man and her true gender. The two just seemed to click, to the amusement of Jane and Loki.

Gender was always optional to Naruko. She didn't care which one she was.

"So why exactly were you banished from Asgard?" asked Jane.

"Thor was banished, not me. I went on vacation. I certainly didn't anticipate my brother being a more monumental idiot than usual, or that father would dump him on Earth as punishment," corrected Loki.

"Loki here underwent my own unique brand of therapy, and now we're picking up the pieces in a place where people won't bother him solely because of who he is," said Naruto cheerfully. Darcy was drooling over the red haired man until he switched back to Naruko again. Strangely Darcy didn't stop the staring.

Their attention was drawn to the window, and Naruko groaned openly.

"Dammit. Why in the cold depths of hell are _they_ here?!" said Naruko.

It was the idiot trio. All decked out in armor and looking very out of place.

"Who are they?"

"A man-whore, a condescending she-witch and a hill barbarian," said Naruko bluntly. Loki snorted and Thor looked a bit crestfallen.

"They are the greatest warriors of Asgard," said Thor defensively.

"They're idiots," said Naruko, "And you're not much better. What sort of warrior thinks that charging in without a plan is acceptable?"

Sif finally noticed her and scowled.

Naruko cheerfully flipped her off, not that the woman knew it. Darcy snorted.

"So did Odin send you?" asked Loki.

"No. He is in Odinsleep and Baldur holds the throne. He does not know we are here," said Sif frostily.

"You went behind the king's back? Why?" asked Thor confused.

"We tried to reason with Baldur, to undo your punishment. But he refused to allow you to return until you have proven that you are truly worthy of your powers. We still do not know who set the Jotuns into Asgard, or into the vault."

Naruko snorted derisively.

"Breaking into that vault is child's play if you show enough patience. The guards are lax, the security is a total joke if you know what you're doing, and if you have enough patience you could easily find the old path into the vault. The only problem is the Destroyer, but so long as you can understand the spells behind it even he's not a problem. Hell, I could have robbed that place a hundred times over if I had the inclination for it!" said Naruko.

Seeing the horrified looks of Thor and his group, Loki chuckled.

"Naruko already broke in once and not only picked up the Casket of Ancient Winters, but didn't even set off the Destroyer. From what she's told me the spirit inside seems to have taken a liking to her enough that it imparted part of it's magic to her," said Loki.

Seeing the horrified looks of Thor and the others, Naruko laughed.

"Again, I could have robbed it if I felt like it. Frankly I didn't feel the need to bother just yet."

"That being said, I really feel like visiting this school your brother spoke of before my brain starts to die from being around my brother too long," said Loki. Thor took his insult with a grain of salt... he was used to Loki being much more cynical and cruel.

Naruko was about to say something when she stood up.

"What is it?"

"Didn't you feel that? The bifrost just opened," said Naruko, looking into the distance.

She had sensed the others before, but she hadn't known what it was. Now that she knew what the bifrost felt like when it was opened, she could pinpoint it from a good distance.

"What?"

"A few minutes ago. You don't think Baldur sent guards to drag you three back, do you?"

"I sincerely doubt it. He should have been informed I was here as well, so he would know I would send them back if they were too distracting," said Loki frowning.

Then Naruko's sharper eyes widened in shocked disbelief.

"We need to evacuate the town. Now," she said. It wasn't a request.

"What..."

"Someone just brought the Destroyer here!" explained Naruko.

Thor's eyes widened in horror when his eyes finally caught what Naruko had seen two miles away. The unmistakeable form of the Destroyer, heading for the town.

"Why would..." started Sif, but Naruko had long past quit hearing her.

She raced out the door, not even bothering to close it as her hands went into a long familiar hand sign.

"On the plus side, at least now she'll be properly entertained," said Loki dryly.

"Brother, should we not stop her?"

"Why? She's beaten both of us with extreme ease and I sincerely doubt she would appreciate us interfering in the first proper fight she's had since leaving her home world," said Loki flatly, before he noticed an additional fighter, "At least not one of us at any rate."

B had joined the fight. Lightning and wind were thrown about with disturbing frequency, all while they drove him back _away_ from the town and into the desert where the damage would be minimal.

Thor wished he had his hammer upon seeing B's lightning attacks.

Suddenly they all heard the sound of metal being utterly destroyed by a swirling vortex of wind held in Naruko's hand...and gaped as the Destroyer was completely obliterated.

Naruko cheerfully walked back to the former car dealership with her 'brother', looking very pleased with herself. Seeing the looks everyone but Loki was giving her, the first thing that came out was "What? Did I get a piece of that oversized tin can on me?"

Loki snorted.

"I think they're simply in a state of shock over the fact that you so badly outclass them it's ridiculous. Coincidentally I think Thor has developed a man-crush on your 'brother' over there when he used his lightning," said Loki dryly.

Naruko would have nodded before a thought occurred to her and she paled.

"Oh dear Inari-sama, may B never infect Thor with those kami-awful rhymes..." she whimpered.

"Come on little nine! You know the great and powerful Kirabi is sublime!" rapped B.

Darcy grimaced at that poor excuse for a rhyme but laughed when Naruko immediately slapped B on the head to shut him up before Thor tried to rhyme like that.

"B, I swear to Inari if you somehow convince that those damn raps of yours are the source of your power I will unleash the full brunt of the Youthful Man Hug on your ass," said Naruko flatly.

B paled.

"Anything but that!"

"With an obese Gai and A," she confirmed.

Seeing her deft handling of her brother, Loki snickered. If only he had such an experienced hand at dealing with idiots.

That was when B noticed Loki, who fit the general description Naruko had given of her latest 'victim'.

"So you're Naruko's latest victim. From the look of your eyes, I think she hit you hard and fast," he said.

Loki flinched.

"A victim?" said Thor, really wishing he had his hammer.

"Little nine has this vicious technique we call a Shatter Mask. It basically means she broke through whatever persona your brother used to hide his real feelings and nature behind and forced him to see the true nature of himself. It's got a perfect hit rate, and she's never failed to break someone and convert them to her side."

Naruko helpfully brought out her page from the last medical journal made by Tsunade. Loki read it.

"_Shatter Mask- the ability to break through the self-made illusions about one's true self and convert enemy units into allies through shared pain and empathy. Has a one hundred percent success rate. _

_Warning: if the patient is suffering from a tragic past or has been shunned or hated for an extended period, effects can be devastating to psyche. Recommended that such persons be removed from duty until a new mask is created to shield patient from outside influences."_

Thor, for the first time since Naruko had known him, actually showed a bit of understanding when Loki read the last passage. Apparently he wasn't as oblivious as he made everyone think.

B looked at Loki.

"So how did she break your mask? A spar, a beat down or just a shoulder to cry on?"

"A spar. She was interested in how magic worked so we fought it out on the Dark Elves former world," said Loki automatically.

"I wasn't interested in Thor coming after me for breaking his brother," deadpanned Naruko, who then turned to said idiot, "Now Thor you have two options. Either get your head out of your ass or remain stuck on Earth as a human. Frankly it's all the same to me, because we're going back to our vacation once someone comes to pick up this idiot."

"Oi! Don't diss the Killer B!"

"Why not? You're an idiot through and through!" she taunted.

"Them's fightin' words little nine!"

"Bring it on," said Naruko grinning evilly.

"Best out of three?"

"Hell yeah!"

* * *

Loki was among the few who dared to go out and watch the brawl.

Naruko and B immediately dove into an all out war against each other, cackling the entire time. If he hadn't had time to get used to his possible girlfriend's true nature, Loki would have sweatdropped. Despite her calm way of knocking Thor and the others several pegs down, or dealing with his snarky whit, Naruko was very much a battle maniac.

She just learned to channel it when necessary...which was why Loki was very glad he had learned through a rather painless sparring match how strong she really was rather than have her beat him senseless.

Without warning, an entire wall of sand hit both the cackling idiots.

Gaara had arrived to play.


	7. Chapter 7

"Room for one more?" asked a dry voice.

"Gaara! Sure, jump on in! Not like we have anyone who could actually give us a fight!" said Naruko pleased. They knew they were in a disadvantage, as New Mexico was a natural desert (I/E Gaara's element) but the lack of any real challenges to their full ability meant that they wouldn't pass up a decent fight.

"What are the rules?"

"No calling on your tail, nothing reaches the spectators or civilians, and once this is over at least pretend you're sorry," said Naruko automatically.

"Why would we be sorry?"

"I'm guessing Fury will be upset at B for not telling him how strong he really is during missions, and knowing our luck he'll be increasingly paranoid after this," said Naruko shrugging.

B snorted.

"Not like they have the seals or the know-how to actually stop us from doing what we feel like. I only listen to them as a courtesy."

The other two snorted. And with that, the real battle was on.

* * *

"Is it alright that I'm terrified and relieved she didn't go all out?" asked Thor.

"Considering I learned from a single spar never to piss her off to the extent she would ever call me a genuine threat, yes," stating Loki. Darcy was sharing her popcorn with him. She found his wit more amusing than Thor's inability to blend in.

"So basically Red got you whipped already?" said Darcy grinning.

Loki twitched.

"Well I wouldn't say whipped. More like well trained," said Narutwo.

They nearly jumped.

"How... you're still fighting them!" said Thor after he got over his near heart attack.

"Yo. Call me Narutwo. Solid clone who can infiltrate and retrieve information without exposing the real one. I'm more of a leftover from when the Boss delivered the epic beat down to that Destroyer. Damn that thing was weak!"

"So why say he's well trained as opposed to whipped?" asked Jane, having come up with more popcorn and snacks.

"Whipped means she broke him so bad he's lost any spine against her. Trained means he knows better than to piss her off, but he can still argue against her. He won't try to stab her in the back, but he knows he can give his own opinions," said Narutwo, before adding "If she wants a boyfriend, then he had better be able to hold his own in a fight but still have the ability to disagree with her without backing down."

"Looks like they're winding down," said Loki, trying to distract them from the subject matter.

Narutwo nodded.

"One final attack and they'll stop. Coincidentally you guys know any decent shield spells?"

Loki winced, and immediately threw up a clear shield in front of them while the three threw one last big attack, resulting in a blast of sand. Aside from being knocked back by the shock wave, they were unharmed.

Sitting in the middle of the crater were the three fighters, laughing and chatting like they hadn't just remodeled the nearby landscape.

"Damn that was fun! I haven't had a decent fight since we left home!" said Naruko laughing as he helped Gaara and B up.

"Heard that! These guys are weak as hell, and their spying tactics are just sad!" said B.

"There's a reason why I chose to stick close to the only person who seems remotely intelligent," said Gaara, not speaking his own distaste to how weak the people of this world were.

"Makes me wonder how Shino would react to them, once he gets away from his new bugs," grinned Naruko.

For some odd reason, the previous jinchuriki of the seven-tailed beetle Fu had not been revived during the whole Uchiha mess. And when faced with the prospect of a rampaging Bijuu, Shino Aburame had stepped up to keep it from harming anyone. It was partially out of duty but mostly because of the form the bijuu had.

Yes, he had lost over half his personal hive in the sealing process just trying to contain the chakra, but in the same time he had also become the most powerful Aburame in the clan's entire history. He had since regained his hive's former strength, and had more importantly learned how to augment it with bijuu chakra.

It had been Shino who had warned Naruko of the Council's last ditch effort to keep her their weapon.

Despite the fact he had since given up his status as the heir of the Aburame clan to a younger sister they hadn't know he had, when asked by his father why he had risked so much for one person, Shino had replied that out of all the shinobi he had ever met, only Naruko had ever been worthy of his full allegiance.

Naruko had never betrayed her comrades. Indeed, she went out of her way to help them even at the expense of her own happiness and shinobi career. Once you gained her loyalty, the only way to lose her trust was to betray her first.

As Shino bluntly said, anyone that selfless needed someone to stand behind her back, no matter what opportunities would be lost in the process. He would rather lose his position and gain even more enemies than dare let someone he considered a true friend down.

Coincidentally this made him the second closest to Gaara, who liked Shino's attitude towards Naruko...and the only one of the group who hadn't been hit by her Shattered Mask. At least not directly. She had indirectly won his loyalty simply by being herself.

Which was why when they left their homeworld, Naruko taught Shino's bijuu how to travel the paths and find her at any time...not that he had any trouble with that because according to Gaara (and Shino happened to agree with this idea) she shown like the sun. They then happily left him alone on a planet full of murderous, man-eating bugs to play with.

Last time she spoke to her longtime friend, Shino had all but dominated the entire planet and was currently adding to his hive. Any shinobi who fought him now was going to be in for a very rude awakening.

"Knowing him, he's still having fun playing with the bugs of that planet we left him on," said Gaara dryly. He liked Shino. Enough said.

"True," said Naruko, then without missing a beat "So what's your opinion of Loki?"

"Too soon to tell, though the mere fact he's held your interest this long after you broken him means that there's more than he knows just yet," said Gaara.

The fact she had yet to leave him be meant there was some potential for romance between them.

"We'll reserve judgment until after you fix the mirror," agreed B.

B was of course referring to Naruko's by-now infamous mirror that showed the victim of her ability how badly she had broken their mask. It was a testament to her sealing ability that she had been able to make a specially sealed mirror to reflect someone's mask.

The fact Loki had all but shattered the glass to pieces meant he had a lot of issues to work out before he was even remotely considered stable. Fortunately Naruko didn't mind a challenge. As the Uchiha member of the team could attest, if he did try to go off the deep end, Naruko would come after him. Hard.

She did not let those she trusted go without a fight or a damn good explanation. Even then she would come after him with a very heavy bat and a 'I'm not letting you get away with that shit' attitude.

Gaara wondered how Nick Fury would react to her once he saw her conversion tactics in action. Then he realized that it would be amusing to see Fury's reaction if she decided to make her own organization to back up his...without any support from whoever paid for S.H.I.E.L.D.'s manpower and supplies.

If Fury continued to irate Gaara, he would suggest just that to piss him off.

* * *

Thor finally went back with his hammer (after finding out that it would let Naruko wield it as a joke) but Loki stayed behind.

Naruko approached the 'mutant school' Gaara had mentioned, but aside from feeling empathy to their struggle in gaining acceptance from the population as a whole, had decided that it wasn't for her. Mostly because her boisterous attitude was too noticeable for those who wanted to kill the mutants simply because of something Naruko automatically equated to a kekkei genkai.

It was disturbingly easy to equate mutants to kekkei genkai users and the people after them as Kirigakure hunters from the Bloodline Purges.

Of course that was nothing to what happened when, shortly after Thor's little mess and his return to Asgard, Fury called Naruko in to speak to someone who had recently awoken from a forced sleep that lasted the better half of a century.

Steve Rogers was more likely to feel comfortable around others who were adjusting than he was around S.H.I.E.L.D., who were still in awe of the living legend.

This had nothing to do with the threat Gaara had given him the last time he saw the red haired man about suggesting to his sister that she start her own group just to spite him...or that Fury wanted to see if she really could beat their recruitment tactics without meaning to.

* * *

Naruko's first thought about Steve Rogers was...the guy was nice. Almost painfully so.

If Naruko was the sun that lead the way, then Rogers was the one people fell in line behind if only because you knew he would fight to help the little guy.

They got along great...once he got over the fact that a girl who was an admitted assassin could beat him in a contest of strength and battlefield tactics.

Once he got over the assassin part, Steve quickly realized Naruko was like him in many ways. A natural leader, someone who had been beaten repeatedly but was too damn stubborn to stay down, and wouldn't hesitate to jump in the line of fire to protect her team.

And for a professional assassin, she had a surprisingly low number of confirmed kills to her name. Even Gaara had well over a hundred (from before he meet Naruko), but her? She barely had ten.

Steve didn't know how to handle an assassin who specialized more in the conversion of enemy units than in actually killing.

Fury's paranoia resulted in a rather amusing, if not unexpected confrontation between Naruko and Natasha Romanov (aka Black Widow).

Natasha had been assigned to be Tony's new legal aid since Gaara effectively became Pepper's assistant over a year ago. Naruko had laughed her ass off when she saw how outclassed Tony had made the opposition when they tried to force him to make more Iron Man suits.

Pepper was just glad Naruko had deftly forced Tony to calm down when, upon realizing how soon his life might end because of palladium poisoning from the same thing keeping him alive, he had started to become out of control and slipping into some unacceptable habits.

The second Gaara recognized the warning signs, he had called his sister in to deal with Tony. Naruko had dragged him down to the basement by the ear and lit into him, explaining that just because he might die within the next few months was no excuse to be an idiot.

Shinobi fought hard, lived each day like it was their last, and were considered extremely dangerous if they were lucky to hit forty after several decades of active service.

The mere fact Naruko had gained one of the highest rankings of danger presented for a shinobi without several dozen confirmed kills only spoke as a testament to how much people respected her as a fighter.

She was considered the epitome of a kunoichi, a role model for girls to try and surpass when it came to being a female shinobi.

Which made Naruko wonder how people took it when she finally had enough of the Konoha Council's bullshit and left with a firm 'screw you' attitude.

Tony reached for a bottle, only to retract his hand like a snake was curled around it when Naruko negligently threw a senbon at it. He would have complained, but then Naruko brought out a fuuma shuriken and cheerfully asked him with this disturbing smile if he wanted her to upgrade what she threw at him.

He shut up.

Loki was with Natasha, finding loopholes and ways for them to get Tony out of the hole the American government was so determined to put him in.

Naruko saddled up to Natasha with a non-alcoholic drink in hand. Natasha accepted the second one without hesitation, believing that the girl wouldn't try to poison her...and if she did she could handle the effects.

"So what sort of training did you undergo before they sent you out into the field?"

Natasha almost choked on her drink.

Naruko grinned.

"It takes an assassin to know one. And while you're good at hiding it, I'm better. So I take it Fury doesn't want these suits in the hands of the Americans either?"

Natasha knew when she'd been made, and didn't bother to try and hide it.

"He also thinks this is a good way to earn brownie points with Tony," she admitted.

"You know I'm seriously considering the idea Gaara suggested just to see how long it would take Fury's head to pop from paranoia," said Naruko grinning.

Natasha choked in amusement.

"You would make a second organization geared towards world peace just to see how long it took before Fury is driven nuts?"

"Screw world peace, I'm more interested in just keeping people safe from the bigger threats. Humans are the most violent, intolerant bastards in existence. They're threatened by the unknown because they know for a fact that the unknown is the most likely to kill them."

Natasha conceded that point. World peace was laughable concept until humanity learned to get along. Which wasn't likely to happen in the next century.

Hell, they couldn't even agree on a single language or currency.

"Besides, the last time I ran into a group who claimed they were trying to bring about 'world peace', what they were really planning was to force everyone under permanent mind control just so that they would have to follow the true leader of the group's point of view. That bastard was a pain in the ass to kill."

Natasha hummed.

"So what's your specialty?"

"Poisons mostly."

"Conversions of enemy units. And heavy damage," said Naruko.

"I'll drink to that," said Natasha amused.


End file.
